Portwenn Online
A Magical Cornish Village
Doc Martin is
Out of the Woods
Martin gets right into the dog's face and
loudly tells him to go away - several times.
When Mark asks Martin to be his best man he
simply says, "No", goes back into the surgery
and shuts the door, leaving Mark bewildered
on the porch.
On the Edge
While fixing the cut on the baker's hand he
tells him to quit whining and then to shush.
He sees Gavin standing in the doorway of the
consulting room and slams the door in his
Martin uses Gavin's business card to wipe
bird poop off his suit jacket and then walks
into the surgery and slams the door, leaving
Gavin standing on the porch.
Martin tells Colonel Spencer (while standing in
the waiting room discussing the choughs),
"Unless you have a medical problem, please
leave."  (He DID say "please"!)
When Pauline tells Martin that she is leaving
to go study nursing, he simply says,
Gavin visits Martin in the consulting room and
he is dismissive of everything he has to say.  
"What do you want?" "Just a chat." "Then chat
with the receptionist. I'm busy."  "May I call
you Martin?" "No."  "I  have a job to do." "So
do I."  "I urge you to help me to help you."
"Indeed. I'll get the door."
Martin directs a group of tourists off the cliff if
they follow his directions.
Martin encounters Gavin on the street and
calls him an "Untuous Platitudinizing Eunuch."
Martin angers the entire village by distrupting
the Pasty Eating Contest and confiscating all
of the pasties because he is concerned that
they might be contaminated.
Martin is totally dismissive and impatient at
the review panel meeting.
While giving Terry a shot, he tells him to shut
Of All the Harbours in All the Towns
When Louisa tells Martin that she took the
surfing club because the kids said she was
too old, Martin should have realized that his
response should have been that she wasn't
too old to surf.  He just said that people of all
ages go surfing.  Louisa let it go by with no
Born With a Shotgun
After giving Bert his diagnosis and a
prescription for his dizziness, Bert quizzes him
about boats and seasickness as they are
walking through the waiting room.  Martin just
says, "Go away."
Martin first tells Michael to stop whining, and
then when Michael tells Martin that not only is
the weed killer non toxic and pet safe, but
also biodegradable, Martin tells him, "Shut
While old Mr Newcross is lying on the ground
waiting for the ambulance, Martin chastises
him by saying, "Well, you've given yourself a
heart attack and lost your granddaughter her
job.  That's really helpful, isn't it?"
Rude Martin
Blood is Thicker
Martin walks up to Pauline's desk, holds out
his hand, and says, "Flynt notes."  Pauline
says, "Hello.  How are you?  Having a nice
day?  I don't know why I bothered."  Martin
responds, "It's your job."
Cats and Sharks
When Mrs Dingley walks into the surgery to
see if Martin can look at her knee, Martin is
standing at Morwenna's desk on the
computer.  Mrs Dingley asks if they are open
and Martin replies, "The door's unlocked.  
Most people would take that as a good
City Slickers
Martin and Louisa are off to a somewhat good
start to their evening at her cottage when
they are interrupted by the Oakwood family,
who worm their way into staying for a meal.  
Martin tries to converse with both halves of
the couple, but he finally cannot take any
more and announces to Louisa that he is
leaving - using a very vague, and frankly
rubbish excuse.  She confronts him the next
morning, but he doesn't seem to understand
that leaving her to entertain those horrible
people on her own was rude.
After standing in the smoke of the burning
badger, Martin and Louisa walk up to the
door of her cottage.  Martin smells the sleeve
of his jacket and says he needs to go home
and change.  Louisa smells her sweater and
says that she does too - that she stinks.  
Martin simply says, "Yes.  Goodbye"  Louisa
looks crosseyed at him as he walks away.  He
just doesn't get it.
Sh*t Happens
When Martin has publicly said that the town's
water supply is probably contaminated, Aunt
Joan visits and tells him that the villagers are
preparing their pitchforks.  Martin asks her
how many generations ago they started their
inbreeding?  In fact, he exhibits rude
behaviour in this whole situation, first
accusing the pool at the leisure center and
then the town's water supply with absolutely
no proof.
Always on My Mind
When Martin is called to the school to retrieve
a small fishbone from a student's throat, he is
obviously peeved at Louisa because he has
seen her with Danny so much lately.  He gives
her a lecture about wasting his time, starting
with, "Let me make a couple of things clear
for you Miss Glasson..."
When he is back at the school for Tricia's
fainting spell (the result of no lunch), he is
really peeved again and is very rude and
dismissive when Louisa asks him once again
to look at Tricia's hands.
Driving Mr McLynn
When Martin comes to the cottage to attend
to Louisa, he is in a very bad mood because
he feels she is trying to do too much in the
seventh month of her pregnancy.  While you
know that deep down he is concerned about
her and the baby, it comes out as very
angry.  He insults her and suggests that the
baby could be handicapped or that Louisa
might have a miscarriage.  He also shouts at
her that she shouldn't expect any help from
As Martin is leaving the cottage, he runs into
Sally on her way in to see Louisa.  She says
that she was hoping to see him.  As he
quickly walks away, he shouts at her to make
an appointment.
Martin tells Stu MacKenzie that in the voting
for a new head for the school, he will only
support a candidate who is not pregnant.  Stu
tries to explain to him that his stance is illegal,
but Martin is adamant.
Martin runs into Mr Branning in town and Mr
Branning tells him that he was hoping to run
into him.  Martin rudely tells him that if he is ill
he needs to make an appointment.  When he
tells him it is about his refusal to support
Louisa for the school head job, Martin is still
adamant that she will not be up to the job and
taking care of a baby at the same time.  
Louisa walks around the corner behind him
and hears the insult.
Louisa interrupts Martin and Edith's work on
her article and Martin is not happy with her.  
After Louisa tells him off about his attitude
toward her pregnancy, she realizes that Edith
is sitting there.  Edith goes to leave and
Martin tries to get her to stay and says that
Miss Glasson isn't staying.  When Edith
leaves anyway, Martin thanks Louisa for
ruining his evening. As she leaves, he is
rewarded for his rudeness by being hit in the
forehead by the door.
Better the Devil
Martin is at the hospital and walks past an old
woman in a wheelchair trying to use a
vending machine.  She asks, "Would you help
me please?" and as he breezes by, he gruffly
says, "No."  A few minutes later, he is walking
past her again.  Now she is on her feet taking
her coffee from the machine and Martin takes
the wheelchair from behind her and takes off
to get Barbara.  You just know that the
woman is going to sit back down expecting
the wheelchair to be right behind her!
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?
While Martin has many reasons to not like Mel
as a childminder, he really is incredibly rude
to her during her medical exam.
After Mike has rearranged their kitchen while
babysitting James for the evening, Martin tells
Louisa that he was rationalizing space and
says, "Tidy house, tidy mind."  Louisa
counters that it WAS tidy and as Martin is
about to leave the bedroom, he dismissively
says, "Yeah."  He then bangs his head on the
doorframe.  Martin Clunes has said that he
does this to punish Martin Ellingham when he
is being unnecessarily rude.
Although it appears that Martin wants the
dinner party to go smoothly (it seems like he
has planned some questions about sporting
events), the smell of alcohol on his guests'
breath as they enter the house puts him in a
mood that is not helped when they
immediately ask for more alcohol instead of
water or soft drinks.  He first tries to give
Karen a very small glass of wine and then
glares at Louisa, Karen and Dennis as they
toast with full wine glasses.  During dinner, he
tries not to let Karen add any salt to her meal
and when she asks for a refill of wine he
pours her water and later tries to move the
wine bottle out of reach.
The Tameness of a Wolf
Martin is taking Aunt Ruth out for her birthday
lunch, but she is concerned about who left a
birthday cake on her kitchen table, since no
one in the village knew it was her birthday.  
Martin tells her that it's not unusual for women
of her age to have memory lapses and
perhaps she told a neighbor and then forgot.
As Robert is being taken away, Martin tells
Aunt Ruth that she needn't worry about him
again.  "By the time he gets out, you, you'll,
um...you, you'll have gone away."
Perish Together as Fools
When Martin hears a noise downstairs early in
the morning, he finds Sam in the waiting room
getting ready to paint.  The phone rings,
Martin answers it, and says, "Yes.  Mr
Routledge.  You're dying?  Really?  You'd
better be!"
When Pauline is finding that she can't bring
herself to paint out Sam's portrait of her,
Martin walks into the waiting room, which is full
with patients.  He grabs a bin bag and goes
from patient to patient, tearing the magazines
out of their hands and stuffing them into the
bin bag.
Happily Ever After
Roger asks Martin if he is really sure about
this wedding.  He says that a lot of people in
the village are surprised this is happening.  
Martin comes back with, "A lot of people in
this village are related to one another.  It
doesn't mean we have to listen to them, does
Going Bodmin
When the mover is finished and hands Martin
the receipt, he stands there for a beat.  
Martin sneers and asks if he's looking for a tip
and then asks if he tipped the surgeon who
stitched up his hernia.
Bert is trying to explain to Martin what he
meant when he said that Susan knows Gilbert
in the biblical sense when Martin tells him to
shut up.
Click photos to enlarge - click again to close
Gentlemen Prefer
Martin thinks that Pamela in the petrol station
is refusing service to him (like the rest of the
village) because of his firing of Elaine.  He
goes into a long tirade about how he could
refuse medical treatment to her.  He paints a
scenario by saying that she could be having
her fifth child in three years while her
boyfriend's rotting in prison and when she
calls him he will say that he doesn't do births.
When Martin goes to the hospital to visit
Roger, he drops his keys off at the
receptionist's desk and tells her he's parked
in Mr Brownlow's spot.  She tries to stop him
and says, "You're a GP?" and he responds,
"And you're a receptionist."  When she asks,
"Is it me, or do you not understand plain
English?", his response is, "It's you."
The Portwenn Effect
When his patient, Robin, asks for antibiotics
for his virus, Martin launches into a soliloquy
on why he won't prescribe them in this
instance.  The patient just doesn't understand
because Dr Sim used to prescribe them all
the time, but Martin calls him a whinger and
escorts him out of the room.  One comical
note is that the patient gives a little cough as
he walks out, just to make a point..
While Martin has been very sensitive
throughout this episode to Mark's concerns
about his size, as he tosses his empty bottle
of "Big Boy" tablets back to him, he callously
says, "You'll get over it...big boy."
While removing the mole from Don's temple,
Martin is exasperated over the questions
about blood and appears to let him feel some
Storming out of the pub after being pranked,
Martin bursts between two people talking and
shouts, "Move it!" startling the older woman.
Still smarting from the prank pulled on him in
the pub, Martin tells Louisa that, obviously,
nine year olds and nursery teachers know
more than him, so they should take him to the
One of Martin's basic character traits is that he can be very rude at times.  
There are times that the rudeness seems to be deserved, so in putting these
together, I only show the times that I find him to be unnecessarily rude.