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Somehow I've agreed to surfing club, of all things. I think what clinched it was the kids saying I was too old. Oh, nonsense. People of all ages go surfing. Yeah, well, perhaps you should come along. Be great to see you out of that suit…and in a wet suit.
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Can you hear me? I'm Dr Ellingham. Do you know your name? Marty? Okay Marty. Do you think you can walk? Not me, you. You're little Marty.
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What happened to him? I don't know, he just died. What do you mean, "just died"? You must know. I was probably too busy wetting myself to notice. Forgive me
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Elaine
Martin Elaine
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You know reception here's rubbish, don't you? Yeah, like one bar. Your stuff's arrived at the pharmacy so you'd better go get it. Uh, no Elaine… Just don't speak to me now, innit!
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Martin Aunt Joan Martin
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Well, he crashed his dingy in Portwenn. Is he all right? Yeah, I think so. Bert Large did his best to try and concuss him, but unfortunately with no success.
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Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie
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Hiya. How are you? Why? You really saved me. I was just doing my job. I made you a cake to say thank you. A cake? Uh, Melanie… I bet nobody remembers to say thank you. No, no you're right there, they don't. So go on. I used my mum's best cooking chocolate. Well...thank you. Uh, it looks very nice. Well, you're very nice. And I'm sure you're very nice too. See ya.
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John Martin John Martin John
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I don't want Joan to know about this. You understand? It's none of my business, but don't… What? Don't upset Joan? Yeah. You're right. None of your business.
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Al Elaine Al Elaine Al
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You wanna get one of those iPods. Yeah. Let me load it up for you. Yeah? Yeah. You can groove all day to one of those. Don't say "groove". Okay.
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Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin
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Did you know our names begin with the same letter? What? Martin. Melanie. Melanie... Got to go. See ya. Oh God.
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Elaine Al Elaine Al Elaine Al Elaine Al Elaine Al
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How come you never asked me out? Well, you was with Greg, weren't you. So… Yeah. Also, you were a bit of a non. Yeah, I suppose I was. Yeah. But you're not a non anymore. Right. So…you could ask me out. Okay. D'you wanna go out? I don't know. Are you a good kisser? I don't know.
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Elaine Al Elaine Al Elaine Al Elaine
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Not bad. You've got a lush bum. Thanks. Right. You can call me. But I'm not your girlfriend, okay? Right. Right. Okay. Okay.
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Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie
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Hello, uh, Melanie. I brought Mary. Thought you could walk your dog too. That way no one would suspect anything. Suspect what? I don't have a dog. You know what. And you so have got a dog. Melanie, I think three's been a bit of a misunderstanding. Like what? Like that I...could be interested in you. But you took my cake. I was being polite. You said I was a nice person. Don't worry. I wouldn't tell anyone. Well, that would be because there's nothing to tell. Couldn't tell anyone till I was 16 anyway. Cause all kinds of trouble.
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Elaine
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Yeah? Al, don't call me when I'm arriving at work. Wait till I'm in. No. I said 8:35, not 8:30.
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Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark
Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin
Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark Martin Mark
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Mark? Oh, hi there Doc. All right? Yeah. I just want to run something by you. Yeah? What's that? There's a girl, a young girl. Seems she's become besotted with me. Oh, right. Yeah. It's a problem. Yeah, well. A problem I wouldn't mind having. Well, you would with this one. Huh. I mean, I mean, why you mention it.. You know I haven't been exactly lucky in that department. Mark, it's not a competition. Yeah, well why'd you run up an tell me then? I mean I invite you for a drink, you don't really come. I've got that single malt you like still nearly full. Then there's this girl on the scene, here you are. I'm not really interested to be honest. Mark, she's 15. I can't condone that. She's a patient. That's worse. Yes, that's what I'm saying. It's worse. And I want to be completely clear. I have no interest, romantic or otherwise, in a 15 year old girl. I relocated her shoulder and now I'm her hero. Oh, right. So it's Melanie Gibson, is it? Yeah. You've told her you're not interested I suppose? Well, unfortunately, I told her I thought she was a nice person. That was unwise, in the circumstances. If you don't mind me saying so. Well it was before I knew that she was...you know. She'd made me a cake and I just wanted to be polite. You do know, in Portwenn, if you accept a girl's cake, that means you're engaged. Oh, very funny Mark. Don't disappoint her now. You know her dad's a martial arts nut? Tae kwon do.
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Martin
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Surgery. Elaine? We should get a direct line for Greg.
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Bert
Al Bert
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Look son. I know it's your phone bill. And I know you've got your own money coming in. Now that's fine and that's good. But it's not the point. You do know that these mobile phones can damage your head membranes. You know, if used to excess. Dad, I've got Bluetooth. I'm not surprised. I mean that's exactly my point, if you don't mind my saying so. Not to mention we're late for Mrs Braithwaite's soil pipe. Look son. Just tell me this, right. Man to man. You're not calling one of those internet sex-change rooms are you?
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Martin Melanie Martin Melanie Martin Melanie
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Now I want to be very clear. You're not to come here again. Do you understand? What if I'm ill? If you need medical help, then you have to come with an adult. I'm ugly, aren't I? No, you're not ugly. You're a patient and you're 15 years old. Miss Glasson is a patient. Don't stop you fancying her, do it?
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John
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Have you seen your face? You're in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and you look as though somebody stuffed a cactus up your jacksie.
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Melanie Martin Melanie Martin
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I thought it would be like Romeo and Juliet. Well, yeah. Bye. No, not through the window Melanie! The front door is fine.
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Martin
Elaine Martin Elaine Alan Martin Alan Martin Alan Martin Alan Martin Alan
Martin Alan Martin Alan Martin Alan
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Elaine. Could you cancel my appointments this morning? I need to go and see Melanie Gibson's parents. Can you get me their address too? No, her dad's here. He wants to see you. Elaine. Does he know I'm here? Yeah, cause you are here. You Ellingham? Uh, yeah, yes. Yes I am. Please come in. Take a seat please. No thanks. My daughter baked you a cake. Uh, yes she did. Thank you for coming to see me because... You tell she was a nice person? Yes I did. I know she's been back here. I know she's been in your bedroom. If you could give me ... You know what young girls are like. I've seen her grow away from me in recent moths. Classic early pubescent phase. And I've been expecting a bit of transference onto another authority figure, and here we are. You just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm sorry. You fix her shoulder and tell her what a nice person she is. Next minute she thinks you're God's gift. Silly girl. I hope you haven't been overly inconvenienced. Oh no no. No, not, not at all. No. Well, I've spoken to her, and I'll keep an eye on her over the next couple of weeks. Thank you. Thank you very much. Nice to meet you. And nice to meet you too. Just one thing. Any chance of that cake tin back?
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Aunt Joan Martin
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Well, you hated his guts, so you'll be pleased to see him go. What you said before about me behaving like, um…about me being displaced. Well, perhaps there was uh…perhaps there was some truth in that. I'd have said anything to put you off him. You didn't underestimate me. But I underestimated John.
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